• Amanda Dockum

What Mindset Means to Me

Today we talked about mindset and what that meant to each of us. I know the easy thing to do is talk about the easy stuff - marketing, systems, brokerages yada yada yada

Not enough people talk about the hard stuff - the things that stop us personally and professionally from being who and what we want to be. I am not an expert (please don't take this blog as me saying I have my shit together). What I have to offer is my perspective.

Real estate is mentally demanding. We are problems solvers. We often have to find ways to communicate with a wide range pf personalities and minimize conflict where and when possible. It can take a lot of of your if you let it. Having boundaries has never been my strong suit, so this job sort of bulldozed me. You can work hard and do everything possible for a transaction, and at the end of the day whether it closes or falls apart is out of your hands. I truly feel that my personality is suited for this carer and I am genuinely good at my job. I know I make a difference in the lives of the clients who choose me as their agent. That means everything to me. But i can say in chasing that, I forgot to take care of myself and became burnt out. My coach once said to me that he wanted me to calendar my days off and stick to it so I don't burn out and end up face down on the couch for two weeks. I should have listened. 🤦‍♀️

Mindset was something I never paid attention to in life until I became 100% responsible for my actions and time. Before this, I had a specific job to do during a specific time...and that's it. Now that I work for myself, I finally realize what those around me already knew (yes I can be a little thick headed sometimes). You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of others AND your clients. When you finally get your shit together and begin making money in real estate, it's very easy to do nothing but work. I'm talking start at 6am and not leave your computer until 11pm type of work. Once I saw how much I could make, that was all I needed to see and that was it for me. So in the beginning, for 2 years I did nothing but work. I found myself not engaging with friends or socially doping things I enjoyed. I was mentally exhausted and just focused on work. I did not understand the concept of life balance. I wasn't happy.

I am now in year 6 and I've finally figured out that it's ok to NOT answer that call at 9pm, to understands some signatures can wait until tomorrow, I am allowed to not schedule appointments on Sunday, and most of all not try and control every thing and fight ALL of the battles.

To me mindset is about how you see yourself and the attitude you have towards others, situations, and life. Personally, here is what I have changed about my mindset to be a happier person and a better agent:

  1. Get rid of limiting beliefs - the idea that you could never make a certain amount of money or that I could never have my own business. Who was I to think I could make six figures. WRONG. There is absolutely zero reason that I cannot do that. The "I can't do that" mentality does not but create self-doubt. I may not be the best or amazing at everything I try, but there is NOTHING I cannot do.

  2. Measuring myself against the success of others - It took me a while to stop doing this. My only competition is myself. 👉Is that other agent who is killing it holding me back? Nope. 👉 Will stressing out about someone else's success and feeling inferior because of it EVER further my business? Nope. 👉Instead of putting energy into worrying about them, should I be focusing on how to improve myself? Absolutely.

  3. If you honestly believe you have value to offer your clients, they will feel the same way. Problem solved. Really it's that easy. They look to you for confidence. Believe in your value and what you have to offer others.

  4. Big one here - If a relationship in my life does not make me happy, it is ok to not hold on to it. Surround yourself with people who have similar goals and celebrate you along with your achievements. It should always be a two way street. Being toxic isn't cute. Same thing professionally - respect is a 2 way street. It's ok to not work with certain clients.

This is my two cents on mindset. I fell into a cycle where I wasn't making my self-care a priority - hell I didn't even really know what self-care meant. It's more than getting your nails done. It's physical and mental health....and hitting up the nail salon.

I will continue to work on being open to new ideas and other perspectives and always remembering practicing self care does not make me a selfish person, just a happier one.

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